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Paula N.

Paula N.

I had had four successful pregnancies in a row. My oldest was 10 and my youngest was 2. When I found out I was expecting again on April 2, 2017, I was overjoyed! I love each one of my babies and count them each as a welcome blessing from the Lord. I scheduled my first prenatal appointment to early May. My kids still did not know I was expecting and I was hoping to surprise them at the appointment!

I talked to the midwife, told her I wasn’t as sick as I had been with the previous four (which I attributed to some healthy lifestyle changes), and that I was hoping to have a smoother pregnancy!

She gives me the usual recommendation, brings in the portable scanner, and starts scanning my belly. We see the baby. No heartbeat (at about 8 weeks at that point). She says, “let’s go across the hall where they have better ultrasound machines.” We did – no results. I felt like my gut had been punched! I remember that day vividly – it was a sad day. My kids found out I was pregnant and within 15 minutes found out the baby was not doing well.

We waited a couple of weeks, got another scan at a different location, and still had the same results. I remember May 12, 2017 as the day my precious baby left my body and I don’t think I had ever cried that much in my life before!

Fast forward to August. I find out I am expecting again, but lose the baby within a few days. It was then that I figured something wasn’t right with me. I started seeing an OBGYN doctor who was very supportive. She ran some tests (which came back normal) and gave me some recommendations. It was in August that I found Natural Fertility Info. I wanted to know what I could do naturally to help and strengthen my body to conceive again. I did their cleanse, followed their nutritional advice, and my husband and I started trying to conceive again. I got SO MUCH support from them! I don’t think most people understand how painful the loss of a child is – no matter how many kids a family already has. Each child is so unique. I am definitely not the kind of person that ‘writes strangers’ for help and comfort, but I sure wrote Sarah from Natural Fertility quite a bit! She encouraged me in a way that really helped me through those dark weeks.

I am now 33 weeks pregnant with a baby boy due June 29th! Back in August of last year, all I could see and feel was pain and death. But I am thankful that now, almost a year later, I have a different story to tell. I believe the Lord has a plan for each of our lives – even through hard times – and my prayer is that He will use that experience to help me know how to comfort other women that I might come across that are going through the same thing! I hope I am more compassionate toward those that are suffering and that the loss of my children will not be in vain. As thankful as I am for the precious life I now carry, he in no way, shape or form replaces the ones I lost. They were loved, wanted, and are terribly missed. I look forward to meeting them in heaven someday. <3

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