Certain seasons of the year are often more emotion-filled than others. For couples battling infertility, it can seem as though there isn’t a season that the emotion roller coaster ever stops.
So much in life is confusing… with many questions and emotions that weigh on the heart. Many are trying to hold onto hope and the promises of change and healing. Many are discontented and while they strive to keep moving forward, are scared that change (as a result of all they are trying) won’t happen. Many feel lost, don’t know what to try next and wonder if they should keep trying.
We can’t stop any of the feelings! But we can prevent them from consuming our every day! One way to do this is by practicing Metta Meditation, also known as Loving Kindness Meditation. The short thought-filled meditation practice can help you shift your thoughts and bring peace to your heart and soul (and to offer the same to others) no matter where you are on your fertility journey.
When you feel like the roller coaster ride needs to end, but keeps rolling on, it’s time to quiet the mind and check in with your heart, to re-calibrate if you will, and realign with who you are.
Metta meditation is an awareness practice during which you recite specific words to ignite within your heart a “boundless warm-hearted feeling”, to kindle love, toward yourself and anyone you include in your practice.
By doing this you are setting an intention to wish for yourself, and any others you include, love and happiness.
How to practice Metta meditation:
- Find a comfortable place to sit so your feet can be firmly planted flat on the floor. Sit relaxed, letting your body sink into your chair and your legs feel heavy. Rest your arms gently on your lap. Close your eyes or gaze softly at a candle, crystal, your favorite nature image, or out a window.
- Take three deep breaths – inhale through your nose, filling your belly first and then your lungs – and slowly exhale through your mouth. Let go of the thoughts weighing on your heart and mind.
- Imagine this breath entering your heart center. As it fills your chest envision it blowing like a gentle breeze around your heart
Step 1: First, send yourself loving kindness. Slowly while taking deep breaths, mentally or softly repeat three times
“May I be happy. May I be well. May I be safe. May I be peaceful and at ease.”
Step 2: Now bring to mind your partner, a friend, or someone who has offered you love and kindness repeatedly. Think of this person – think their name, or conjure an image of them in your mind’s eye. Slowly while taking deep breaths, mentally or softly repeat three times
“May you be happy. May you be well. May you be safe. May you be peaceful and at ease.”
Note: Repeat Step 2 as often as necessary bringing to mind as many different people as you need to (even the people who challenge you or create difficulty in your life).
Step 3: Then, think of “the collective”. This could be all the people in your life, the people of your community, your entire healthcare team, your spiritual leaders or those with your same faith, all couples battling infertility, etc. Think of this group and slowly while taking deep breaths, mentally or softly repeat three times
“May you be happy. May you be well. May you be safe. May you be peaceful and at ease.”
Step 4: Finally, to end your Metta meditation, take three more deep breaths – inhale through your nose, filling your belly first and then your lungs and slowly exhale through your mouth – and feel love and kindness radiate from you, from your heart. When you are ready to come back, wiggle your toes and legs, fingers, hand and arms, and open your eyes. With a gentle grin or smile feel the love!
Use this practice as often as you need to, and when your heart and mind feel the weight of your journey.
Listen to this practice now…
Moving forward…
Think about the value of seeking small meaningful interactions with others and how this might help you feel kindness regularly. You could:
- share a smile with a stranger
- sit with someone you may not interact with much during your coffee/tea break
- compliment someone
- share a simple hello in passing, or say ‘Have a nice day’ on your way out a door!
- perhaps stretch a bit outside of your comfort zone and give up your seat on the train/bus, offer to carry a bag of groceries for a neighbor
- sit and pray with someone where you worship
- pay it forward in some way
Reach out for support if you find you can’t get through the emotions alone:
- talk to a trusted friend
- learn other stress reduction techniques
- seek counseling or talk therapy
- make time for self-care (a massage, Fertility Yoga, nightly bath, alone time to just be)
- work with a practitioner who can guide you on a program
Peace to you! Namaste! Have a love-filled day!
- Ostaseski, F. (n.d.). Metta Meditation. Retrieved from http://www.mettainstitute.org/mettameditation.html
