Most days we do all that we can to stay balanced… sometimes it’s enough, other times it’s not. This can be particularly true when battling infertility. Healthy fertility is a balancing act in all ways! Hormones need to be balanced, balance between work and self-care is ideal, and emotional balance is a necessary part of optimal wellbeing. Letting emotions come to us and flow through us without judgment is an important part of the healing process and of being balanced.
Yes, emotional balance is as important as hormonal balance!
It’s healthy to allow time to experience emotions while also working through them and not letting them control your progress forward. Cry when you need to cry versus hold it back; scream when you feel like screaming (perhaps into a pillow instead of at a living being) and then get on with your day. It is key to ensure you have several emotional-health tools for helping yourself return to emotional balance on the days when imbalance seems to be the reality. One such tool can be a gratitude practice for welcoming the day, coupled with a nightly ritual of releasing or letting go of anything weighing in your heart and mind at the end of the day.
Greet Each Day With Gratitude
In lieu of hitting snooze two or three times, or lying in bed wondering or dreading the day’s events to come, spend 5 short minutes being grateful. There is any number of ways to do this. Some that I found work and that I can stick to are:
1. Reciting a mantra or a positive affirmation several times, something like (but I encourage you to write your own):
- I feel safe, supported and loved.
- My thoughts are peaceful and calm.
- I will handle with grace whatever this day brings.
- I am working with my body in a loving way. My body is a fertile place worthy of conception.
- I am prepared to succeed!
2. Writing in a gratitude journal a daily mantra or affirmations.
3. Writing one thing you are grateful for on a small piece of paper and place it in a Gratitude Jar (to read back through on a special day/date).
4. Holding a gratitude rock/crystal/Mala/object – something to hold in your hand to remind you of what you are grateful for.
… having gratitude doesn’t just happen! It’s a practice we have to foster every day. You wouldn’t expect a flower to grow without water, and you wouldn’t expect your body to get healthier without nourishing it. So, you can’t expect to feel like you have enough and you are enough, without nurturing a gratitude for life and an appreciation of yourself. ~ Nicola Jane Hobbs of Mind Body Green
Nightly Ritual of Release
Each night as you settle into bed, either sit or lie with your right hand on your heart and your left hand on your belly, take three very deep belly breaths in and out slowly, and softly speak or think of all that you wish to release today. Repeat the phrase I Release and fill in the blank. Perhaps some of these will resonate with you:
- I release unrealistic expectations and replace them with truths and positive intentions.
- I release the I should haves, the what ifs, the I can’ts, the maybes, the if onlys…
- I release the guilt I hold over myself that my fertility goals have not yet been met.
- I release myself from comparing my fertility story to others who have found pregnancy success.
- I release resentment!
- I release my worries, my fears and my doubts.
Breathe! Close your practice of release with the statement: I am enough! In this moment, I am enough! Today I am enough! Tomorrow I am enough!
Perhaps it will help to recite these statements with me (play/download the audio below). You are welcome to copy them! I encourage you to create statements of release as your journey shifts and continues.
Gratitude is what reminds you that: you can keep moving forward; it empowers you to find the tools you need to heal and achieve your fertility health goals; you are enough right now and will be enough days, weeks, months, years from now! Give gratitude practice a try and please share in the comments section below how it’s going or what is working for you. Your mantra or affirmations may help another, as I hope mine have helped you.
- Honey & Sage Co. Instagram. (n.d.) Retrieved from: https://www.instagram.com/honeyandsageco/Note: The idea for this ritual of release came from Honey & Sage Co. When I saw this on their Instagram feed, I knew we needed a version for those in need of support on their fertility journey. They deserve credit, as these phrases began from their post and were tweaked by me for you!
- Hobbs, N. J. (Sept. 26, 2013) How To Create A Gratitude Jar. Retrieved from: https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-11062/how-to-create-a-gratitude-jar.html