What Is Your #1 Fertility Concern? We frequently ask this question across our social media platforms and each and every time, many women share that their #1 fertility concern is age; “my age”, “haven’t had any success in getting pregnant…almost giving up. I’m almost 47”, “Being 40”… We can’t dispute the facts about the impact of aging on fertility, we can help you through the emotions of this journey!
It’s universally known that many couples are waiting longer to conceive than in centuries past. Yet, what lacks is a true realization of how discouraging the medical community can be about this choice when older and trying to conceive. This can cause and contribute to physical and emotional distress.
Perhaps more troubling than feeling “too old”, is the lack of recognition by the medical community that the specific thoughts women repeatedly tell themselves during their struggle can lead the body to believe these very thoughts and hinder efforts to heal, stay well, or achieve fertility success.
You may not know this, but emotions that are not regularly released get stuck and are stored in our energy fields and tissues. The body creates and holds onto stress hormones when emotions are suppressed. These stuck emotions may then lead to imbalances, impair healthy organ function and can contribute to infertility. For example, grief and bereavement settle in and bring sadness to a woman’s heart, uterus and ovaries. Fear and anxiety can harm the kidneys and urinary tract and are believed to inhibit male and female sexual function and sexual desire.
So, it is very important to work to reframe the fear, doubt, anger, sadness, disbelief, guilt and shame that often feel inescapable. Learning to channel your energy and control your thoughts so that you can eliminate unnecessary feelings, emotions and not cause yourself undue distress will help you experience:
- clearer, more rational thinking
- empowerment on your journey
- a greater sense of control over your emotions and stress levels
- the ability to be open to, accept and consider all the options and choices to boost your fertility
- ease in making positive decisions to move you forward towards your fertility goals
- the ability to stay positively focused on continuing to try to conceive longer without feeling like giving up
- knowing when to seek support if you need it
Take Control Of Your Thoughts & Emotions
This is an extensive list of tools to learn about. They may not all be for you and that is just fine. My hope is that in sharing of all of these tools, something will resonate with you and be useful as often as you need it.
- Believe! Ask yourself, Are your beliefs dictating your fertility reality? You have the power to achieve successes big and small and to influence your health if you set yourself up for success. | Belief: The Key To Success & Healing
- Feel the Love! When you feel like the emotional infertility roller coaster needs to end, it’s time to quiet the mind, check in with your heart and realign with who you are. | Feel the Love; How to Cultivate Love & Kindness For Your Fertile Self
- Find Joy! Are you tired of struggling along with your fertility issues? Sick of timing, charting, thinking, and worrying about your fertility? Find what fills your heart with joy. | Finding and Sustaining Joy on Your Fertility Journey
- Be Mindful! Be aware of your thoughts, feelings, internal sensations and surroundings. Meet them in the moment and have compassion for yourself. | Being Mindful – Having a Positive Outlook When Trying to Conceive
- Compare Not! Stop the jealousy and resentment created by comparing your fertility story to others. | Fertility Jealousy – Ways to Stop Comparing Your Story to Others
- Strengthen Your Mind-Body Connection! Learn how to pay attention to how your mind affects your body’s health and healing. | Your Most Fertile Self: Interview with Elisabeth Manning of Fertile Living
- Reduce Stress! Stress can be one of the primary factors behind infertility. The human body is equipped to prevent conception from occurring during times of extreme stress. | Top 10 Mind and Body Therapies to Help With Fertility Stress
- Seek Support! Talking to a fertility specialist, counselor or fertility therapist can help improve communication between couples and help in making decisions, settle disagreements, or clarify any level of misunderstanding about how the experience is truly felt, etc. | 8 Ways To Help A Marriage Through Infertility
Do All That You Can!
Beyond working on your emotional health, consider putting all the rest of your energy into doing all that you can to boost your fertility health. There may be many ways to do this and programs to follow, that could include:
- naturally supporting egg health and/or sperm health
- addressing a specific fertility health issue
- creating your fertility team, including both natural and medical professionals
- integrative treatment options and natural therapies like flower essences, essential oils, fertility massage, exercise (fertility yoga), Acupuncture, Chiropractic care, etc.
A quote that I came across that I think will resonate with you:
“Try to remember who you were before infertility. Find her or him again and remember to continue seeking her or him out whenever the darkness starts to take over.”
… AND keep moving forward using all the tools you have!
Elizabeth Willett is the Senior Herbalist with the Natural Fertility Company and head educator at NaturalFertilityInfo.com. She holds a Master of Arts degree in Holistic Health Studies with a specialization is herbalism from St. Catherine University in St. Paul, MN.
